Looking for serial killers talking about their first crimes.

As the level revolves around a story where the character ends up at his first crime I want to look up articles about serial killers saying what triggered them to do it or what drove them to it, I'm not expecting to find a lot on this, as serial killers either don't talk about it or can't be trusted to tell the truth anyway,

Two serial killers I know that were very honest with what and how they done things are both quite similar in traits one being Jeffrey Dahmer and the other being Dennis Nilsen. Both were gay killers who killed for company, Jeffrey Dahmer felt that he need to kill to keep the men he took home with him forever, cannibalising them in a bid to keep them as a part of himself. Dennis Nilsen often referred to as the British Jeffrey Dahmer earned the nickname 'The Kindly Killer' as he is said to have not liked the killing of his victims and that it was a necessary thing to do.

"London serial killer Dennis Nilsen speaks today about his first victim - a boy of 14.

In an extraordinary letter sent from his prison cell, Nilsen tells how he picked up Stephen Holmes in December 1978 in a Cricklewood pub. He took the boy to his home where he killed him. It was the beginning of a series of gruesome murders of young men that went on until his arrest in 1983 after human remains were found in a blocked drain at his Muswell Hill home.

In the letter sent to the Evening Standard Nilsen, 60, confesses: "Stephen Dean Holmes was the first of 12 homicide victims."

In fact it is known he killed at least 15 men, among them rent boys, students and the homeless he lured back to his homes in Cricklewood and Muswell Hill. At least seven victims remain unidentified.

Nilsen promises to help police identify the rest of his victims although Scotland Yard has ruled out ever knowing definitively the names of the other men he murdered, usually by strangulation. Nilsen, a civil servant who had previously worked in the Army and police, was never charged with the offence because at the time of his trial in 1983, Stephen could not be identified.

But a photograph of the boy, who was reported missing by his family, was shown to Nilsen last year by police visiting him at Full Sutton.

The killer confirmed to detectives that the boy in the photograph was his first victim. He said Stephen spent the night with him after drinking heavily. Nilsen says he decided to strangle him the next morning because he was fearful the boy would leave.

He kept the body stuffed under the floorboards of his flat in Melrose Avenue, Cricklewood, for eight months before burning the remains in the back garden. He used the same method to dispose of several victims.

Nilsen was only caught out after moving to a flat in Cranley Gardens, Muswell Hill, where he lived in the attic and had no access to a garden. He chopped up three victims and stuffed their bodies down the drain. After complaints about the smell, a plumber found 30 to 40 pieces of human flesh beneath the manhole cover, leading to Nilsen's arrest and eventual conviction on six counts of murder.

A file on Stephen's murder has been passed to the Crown Prosecution Service which will decide whether to charge Nilsen. A decision is expected within weeks although sources suggest the prospect of a second Old Bailey trial is remote.

Nilsen appears in the letter to baulk at the prospect of another trial. He refuses to divulge "graphic details of the incident", adding: "I say this out of consideration for this victim's family."

In the letter, Nilsen says: "Oddly enough I did point out to police that a positive ID could, perhaps, be confirmed from the teeth and bone fragments unearthed by police at Melrose Avenue. To my surprise they told me that all such evidence had long been disposed of and was no longer available for analysis."

This is a very open interview featuring Jeffrey talking about his first kill and what led him there, also what happened after the first kill and the obsession that followed after. It's very odd hearing such a calm voice talking about such things. He also like Nilsen talks about how the killing wasn't the objective, it was all about having the person under his control and keeping them for as long as he wanted.

Serial Killer Traits

Another post looking into Serial Killer childhood traits to understand more of what could have turned my character to this path.

Fourteen Characteristics of a Serial Killer
Could you be raising a criminal? Acts of violence don't come out of nowhere, and every parent should be aware of the clues along the way. For the most violent of criminals, there are warning signs that often start in childhood. Below is a list of the 14 most common traits of serial killers.
1. Over 90 percent of serial killers are male.
2. They tend to be intelligent, with IQ's in the "bright normal" range.
3. They do poorly in school, have trouble holding down jobs, and often work as unskilled laborers.
4. They tend to come from markedly unstable families.
5. As children, they are abandoned by their fathers and raised by domineering mothers.
6. Their families often have criminal, psychiatric and alcoholic histories.
7. They hate their fathers and mothers.
8. They are commonly abused as children — psychologically, physically and sexually. Often the abuse is by a family member.
9. Many serial killers spend time in institutions as children and have records of early psychiatric problems.
10. They have high rates of suicide attempts.
11. From an early age, many are intensely interested in voyeurism, fetishism, and sado-masochistic pornography.
12. More than 60 percent of serial killers wet their beds beyond the age of 12.
13. Many serial killers are fascinated with fire starting.
14. They are involved with sadistic activity or tormenting small creatures.

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Killers thankfully make up a tiny proportion of the population, and so many people will exhibit some or all of these signs without going on to serial murder. That being said, it still pays to be informed... 

1. Childhood Abuse or Neglect
A staggering proportion of serial killers experienced a difficult childhood. Abuse - whether sexual, physical or emotional - affects childhood development, and while it certainly does not always make a person violent, will almost definitely affect that child's emotional state in later life.
Chilling example: The Killer Clown, John Wayne Gacy was repeatedly beaten and belittled by his alcoholic father, as well as being molested on many occasions by a family friend.
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2. Poor school record, despite intelligence
The majority of serial killers are reasonably bright, partly because of the sheer logistics of murdering multiple victims and getting away with it, even temporarily. However, their inability to integrate with others and their lack of respect for social norms means they are often unable to progress in a career, or even hold down a regular job.
Chilling example: The Co-ed Killer, Edmund Kemper reportedly had an IQ of around 140, but like so many 'smart' killers, was more absorbed by killing than developing a worthwhile life and career.
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3. Excessive Antisocial Behavior
Antisocial personality disorder is ultimately a person with no sense of guilt or remorse, as well as aggression, frequent lying, and lack of responsibility.
Chilling example: Ted Bundy was famously cold and remorseless. When asked about his victims he merely said:
I'm as cold a motherf****r as you've ever put your f***ing eyes on. I don't give a s*** about those people.
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4. Compulsive Fantasising
Unable to act out their violent and twisted desires, serial killers in the making will feverishly imagine what they wish to act out. This fantasising is often accompanied by compulsive masturbation, particularly as potential serial killers often find it difficult to form proper relationships with actual human partners.
Chilling example: 'Rostov Ripper' Andrei Chikatilo actually masturbated so frequently and violently that he developed dreadful scarring on his penis.
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5. Head Injuries
Scientists have found links between head trauma - either as the result of accidents, difficult birth or childhood abuse - and violent behavior. In particular, it's damage to the pre-frontal cortex - the area of the brain used for judgement and planning - that is indicated in increasing aggression.
Chilling example: Bobbie Joe Long, a sick sexual sadist and killer who claimed the lives of 10 women in the Tampa Bay area, sustained multiple head injuries of varying severity as a child.
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6. Voyeurism
Voyeurism often appeals to serial killers, both as a way of enjoying sexual pleasure without needing a close or emotional relationship with another person and as a way to violate another person's privacy. Many killers begin with pettier sexual crimes before developing to assault and murder.
Chilling example: The Baton Rouge killer Derrick Todd Lee was actually arrested and fined $400 for being a peeping tom, but spared jail. He went on to kill seven women.
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The MacDonald Triad
Named for the scientist who made the connection, the MacDonald Triad is the following three characteristics, which all indicate - but are certainly not definitive proof of - the development of a serial killer.

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7. Bed Wetting

Of course, most children wet the bed until around five, but persistent bed-wetting into teenage years and beyond - or enuresis as it's officially termed - can be an indicator of neuroses, trauma and psychological unrest common in people who go on to kill.
Chilling example: Among others, Ohio state killer Alton Coleman reportedly wet the bed well past the normal age for children. 

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8. Arson 

Pyromania is common in future serial killers - it makes sense for a twisted mind to find the act of destruction fascinating.
Chilling example: Son of Sam killer David Berkowitz is only one of several teen pyromaniacs Ottis Toole and David Berkowitz were only two of the numerous murdering pyromaniacs. 

9. Animal Cruelty
Their typical lack of empathy and inability to experiment on the actual targets of their twisted desires often compels serial killers to torture and kill animals during childhood and teenage years. Small animals are relatively easy and are not as likely to draw attention to their killer as a human victim.
Chilling example: Many serial killers kill animals before moving on to humans, but Jeffrey Dahmer is a famous case: he impaled a dog's head on a stick and left it out for people to see.
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As it turns out, mass murderers, serial killers, and other extremely violent individuals do share a range of common traits.

• Statistically speaking, the average serial killer is a white male from a lower-to-middle-class upbringing. In fact, over 90 percent of serial killers are men.
• Most serial killers are in their 20s or 30s.
• Most mass murderers are single or divorced.
• As children, soon-to-be serial killers often torture animals.
• More than 60 percent of serial killers wet the bed beyond the age of 12.
• According to the A to Z Encyclopedia of Serial Killers, many serial killers are obsessed with starting fires. Ottis Toole, George Adorno, and Carl Panzram are just a few of the many serial killers with a childhood history of arson.
• Many mass murderers and serial killers have an extraordinarily high IQ. For example, the Unabomber is a genius.
• A lot of serial killers come from dysfunctional families with an absent father.  Marc Lepine (mass murderer of 14 people) is one of the many examples of fatherless serial killers.
• Many serial killers suffered through childhood abuse.   “The Boston Strangler” Albert DeSalvo was even sold off as a slave by his alcoholic father.
• Serial killers often have a history of attempted suicide. Charles Edmund Cullen, the most prolific serial killer in the history of New Jersey, had 20 suicide attempts throughout his life.
• Mass murderers are often loners who have very few social connections.
• Differences Between Serial Killers and Mass Murderers

It’s important to note that there are some fine distinctions between serial killers and mass murderers. Mass murderers have just a single killing spree (e.g. the recent Arizona shooting, Columbine killings, etc.) before being apprehended by police or committing suicide. On the other hand, serial killers try to remain undetected and they can go on killing for several years.

Also, mass murderers kill a large group of people all at once, whereas serial killers are often much more selective with their targets. A serial killer could spend months trying to find the right individual to kill, and can have cooling off periods between murders. The victims often all share a trait, something that has important symbolic meaning to the murderer.

Serial killers with mother issues

I think I would love to go down the way of a boy and his mother, it seems a rather cliche storyline but I feel this would work best with my level as it follows a male character who eventually turns to Voyeurism, a trait that would possibly come from a fascination with women but also with a fear of them. I had a google session to get a bit more of a headsup on which people had these issues with their parents, particularly their mothers.

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Info from https://krackedkillers.wordpress.com/2012/06/10/serial-killers-and-mommy/

Ed Gein, who served as the impetus for Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs, was one such killer.  Edward remained under his mother’s spell well after her death in 1945. From the time he was a young child, Ed’s mother, Augusta, held daily “prayer” sessions where she preached against the evils of the world to her two sons, Edward and  Henry, and in particular warned them against women. Augusta moved her sons to an isolated area and Ed only left the house to attend school. His mother punished him when he tried to make friends.

Augusta abused her sons.  Henry distanced himself from his mother’s extreme view of the world. Mother Dearest was decidedlyunhappy. On May 16, 1944 Henry decided to burn off a marsh on the property. The burn off escaped control and the local fire department was called.  Henry was found face down after the fire was extinguished but he was dead before the blaze. After his brother’s death, Edward lived alone with his mother, who died on December 29, 1945. Ed was devastated and he dug up the graves of women he thought resembled his mother, and took the bodies home, where he tanned their skins. Upon his arrest in 1957, Ed told investigators that between 1947 and 1952 he made as many as 40 nocturnal visits to three graveyards to exhume bodies while he was in a “daze-like” state. He admitted to committing two murders. watch ed gein

Edmund Kemper – Edmund was another serial killer whose murders and psychological disturbances were directly linked to his deceased mother, Clarnell. In fact, Edmund was her killer. Clarnell was aviolent alcoholic who humiliated her son. She locked Edmund in the cellar for months at a time, reasoning that otherwise he would have sex with his sisters (doesn’t everyone)? While confined in the basement, Edmund used his sister’s dolls to demonstrate sexual rage against his mother. At an early age if a child is left alone, or forced to live in isolationwhere little attention is given to them, their minds become their company, and so begin the daydreams and the dark fantasy world.

By 15 Edmund was sent to live with his grandparents. On August 27 1974, at 15, Edmund shot both hisgrandparents. He returned to his mother for a number of years and during this time Edmund murdered a number of young women. One night he entered his mother’s bedroom and she told him she hadn’t had sex for years because of, “her murderous son“. Edmund stabbed her to death, then decapitated her corpse. Years later, Edmund wept during an interview and made the odd statement: “I’m not a lizard I didn’t come out from under a rock. I came out of her vagina, see?”By then Edmund had murdered 6 young women “because of the way she raises her son and the way… he grows up.” watch ed kemper

Killing Mommy

In exact opposition to Edmund, Henry Lee Lucas launched hismurderous career by killing his mother,Viola, and probably with good reason. His mother was a prostitute who brought men to their ramshackle home where young Henry was witness to her trade. She physically abused Henry and his brothers, and once beat Henry for not watching her service a client. On one occasion she forced him to go to school in a dress. Psychologists indicate that his hatred of his mother was the source of his violent misogyny. He took a knife wound to his left eye although whether it was from Viola or not isn’t known. This left him with a vulnerable area on his face that was hurt in an accident at school. Viola waited 3 days before bringing her injured son to a doctor and by then it was too late to salvage his eye. His damaged eye was replaced with a glass eye that left him with a drooping eyelid. watchconfessions of a serial killer henry lee lucas

On January 11, 1960, young Henry and his mother got into an argument over a woman he wanted to marry. He grabbed a knife and plunged it into her neck.  Convicted of second-degree murder, he was sent to the state prison in Michigan. He tried to commit suicide and was transferred to a forensic psychiatric hospital. For his mother’s murder, he served ten years of a twenty-year sentence.Just before his mother’s murder, Henry murdered a young girl in the woods and raped her because he “wanted to see what it was like to have sex with a human being.” That seems reasonable.

Mommy’s Little Bastard

Ted Bundy – is at the top of the list in the illegitimate serial killer category.  Teddy Bear grew up thinking his mother was his sister –this was the information he was given by his grandparents (whom he thought were his parents) and his mother (whom he thought was his sister).  Still with me?  Imagine how confused and traumatized Ted the child was when for some reason the family told him the truth.  In addition, being labelled a bastardin that era was humiliating. “It was like I hit a brick wall,” he admitted years later. That would mess up anyone, although not enough (we hope) to send any of us out into the world to rape and murder.

We all know (and are bored) of the Ted Bundy story by now so I won’t reiterate except to say Teddy blamed exposure to violent pornography (as opposed to being a violent misogynist) on his crimes.  Serials never were ones for stepping up, were they? watch ted bundy interview

Charles Manson – Born to unmarried 16-year-old Kathleen Maddoxin Cincinnati, Ohio, he was listed as “no name Maddox” on his birth certificate. Great beginning.  Manson’s mother was truly a prize. His criminal case file states: “Father: unknown… alleged to be a colored cook with whom the boy’s mother had beenpromiscuous at the time of pregnancy.” She hated her son and abused him daily. An alcoholic, she traded him for a pitcher of beer to a childless waitress. Soon after Kathleen went to jail for 5 years for robbery.  When she got out she retrieved Charles again but when he was 10, she tried to place him in a foster home. None was available so he was sent to a school for boys. He ran away from the school but his mother rejected him when he returned home. At 13, Charles was sent to the Indiana Boys School and he testified that he was brutally raped and beaten while there. It makes sense that Manson formed his own Family in later years. By then, Charles he claimed to be a Scientologist.  Now that makes Tom Cruisea lot easier to understand, doesn’t it? watch charles manson part 1 of 5

Stepmothers from Hell

Joseph Sallinger – was adopted by sadistic, Roman Catholicparents, Stephen and Anna Kallinger. Joseph’s stepmother made Cinderella’s stepmother look like Mrs. Brady. The punishments Kallinger endured included kneeling on jagged rocks, eating excrement, committing self-injury, being burned with irons, whipped with belts, and being starved. Stephen and Anna brutalized him so much that when Joseph was 6, he had a hernia operation.  Anna told him the surgery was to stop his penis from growing.   Once Mother Dearest forced young Joseph to hold his hand over a flame, beating him when he cried.  How they got away with torturing their son in this manner for so many years, only the Lord knows.

Not surprisingly, Joseph entered mental hospitals from time to time for attempting suicide and starting fires. As an adult Joseph went on a crime spree, taking his 13-year-old son, Michael with him. A second Joseph Sallinger in training. Hooray.  Another son, Joseph Jr., was found dead in a pile of rubble two weeks after Joseph took out an insurance policy on him. Coincidence? Obviously not.

David Berkowitz (Son of Sam) – Technically, David’s biological mother, Betty Broder, was the mother from hell, and it was his adoptionthat contributed greatly to his disturbed life. Betty was married but separated when she had David, however David was the result of an extramarital affair with another man. David was adopted at one week old byPearl and Nathan Jay Berkowitz. David’s childhood wasn’t anywhere near as nightmarish as some of our bad boys: his was considered“somewhat troubled”. David developed an infatuation with petty larceny and pyromania. David was described as difficult, spoiled and bullying.

David’s stepmother died of breast cancer when he was 13 and he blamed himself, a flawed belief that tormented him for years. At 18, David found his biological mother, Betty,who eventually rejected him. His illegitimacy was the “primary crisis” of his life; the second was Betty’s rejection of him. These developments shattered his sense of identity. Possibly his psychopathy grew out of these unusual developments. David claimed he killed due to the commands of a demon that possessed his neighbour’s dog. Eventually he adopted the label “Son of Sam,” in reference to the dog-demon. Well that’s understandable. Happens all the time. David believed the demon commanded him to kill people. watchdavid berkowitz – son of sam killer

While imprisoned in 1979, there was an attempt on his life. He refused to identify his attacker but suggested it was directed by his former cult. He has a permanent scar from the wound that took 52 stitches to close. In 1987, Berkowitz became a born again Christian. He says he is no longer to be referred to as the “Son of Sam“; rather he is now the “Son of Hope.” Thankfully he does not consider himself to be the “Son of God” or every Christian on the planet would be in trouble. Hopeful or not, David will likely never be released from prison. There is a God.

TED TALKS

I remember have a chat with Nigel about a documentary which featured a man who found out from his mother that he was related to Lizzie Borden, I found a Ted Talks with this man in it and it gave me a few ideas about what I was going to do with my level.

In the previous post I talked about childhood influences and this talk goes into that a little so I thought I would add the link here for future reference.

Looking into childhood.

As my game is going to feature a journey I have to look into what would possible have made my character turn to this path of serial killing. I don't want to be too stereotypical and say this is definitely what makes a serial killer as many people have traumatic childhoods and do not turn into criminals. I want to show the journey of someone who has had to worst possible outcome, Serial killers such as Jeffrey Dahmer had a lot of these happen to him as did John Wayne Gacy, Arthur Shawcross and Aileen Wournos.

This was a very good article about common traits of potential serial killers, and it listed some that I hadn't actually considered. I am aware my blog is much more 'wordy' than usual.

http://listverse.com/2013/01/02/10-most-common-traits-of-potential-serial-killers/

10 Most Common Traits of Potential Serial Killers

10
Alcohol and substance abuse

Children who are exposed to alcohol and substance abuse in the womb may suffer from serious birth defects. Small eye openings, retardation, a small head and brain and central nervous system issues are just some of the problems they could face, if they survive.
Growing up in a home where substances are abused can be even worse. ADHD, attachment disorders, doubt and feelings of inadequacy, depression and behavioral problems will be evident from a very young age. According to the FBI’s statistics, the childhood homes of more than 70% of serial killers experienced problems related to substance abuse. Be that as it may, there have actually been very few serial killers (relatively speaking) addicted to alcohol and substances – but many of them are known to have encountered such things in their youth.

9
Psychological abuse during childhood

It almost goes without saying that most serial killers were abused as children. According to the interviews and discussions that have been held with known serial killers, emotional abuse and neglect has been the form of abuse most of them (50%) suffered.
They were humiliated often – and when parents meted out discipline, it was unfair, unpredictable, destructive and wicked. Even when a child is merely neglected, huge developmental failures can occur. The child will become desensitized; he will begin to believe that this emotionally barren world that surrounds it is something normal – and so he will grow up devoid of empathy for others.
Emotional abuse impairs a child’s self-esteem, and interferes with his ability to function adequately in society, succeed academically, and form healthy, intimate relationships. This is why we see that serial killers often fail to keep their jobs for any period of time and only rarely have successful relationships.

8
Sexually stressful events in childhood/Domestic-Violence

Accessible research material tells us violent sexual events during childhood have serious adverse affects on an individual’s development. More than one known serial killer was forced to dress up as a girl as a form of punishment. The witnessing of violent sexual acts between family members and/or parents had some of the most damaging effects.

Furthermore, some contracted venereal diseases as teenagers; were punished for masturbating as children; or were sexually abused, most often by parents or family members. Such experiences in childhood will often create violent fantasies that continue into adulthood.
Childhood abuse leads to social isolation, learning difficulties (46% of serial killers never finish high-school), self-control issues and seizures. This research into child abuse serves as compelling confirmation that serial killers are made – not born.

7
Bed-wetting

Even though bed-wetting in itself has been discredited as a predictor of later violent tendencies, it is speculated that it might be related to arson and animal cruelty in some way. Researches argue that persistent bed-wetting past the age of five is demeaning for a child, especially if parents or other figures of authority tease or belittle them about it. The child may then act out against animals or use arson to channel their anger and frustration. Over 57% of serial killers were bed-wetters until an unusually advanced age.

6
Growing up lonely and isolated

Family members of future serial killers are usually out of step and at odds with each other. Their relationships are malfunctional and debilitating. These families also have a tendency to move around a lot, and the children are normally removed into shelters before they can turn 18.
It all boils down to the idea that such children have no meaningful relationship as they grow up, and therefore end up lacking the capacity to forge such relationship; they end up as “loners”. Serial killers are rarely remembered by classmates, as they rarely had any close friends. As they are frequently bullied by other kids, anti-social tendencies will also develop at an early age. A careful observer will see that this child starts dabbling in arson and theft, the use of dangerous weapons, hostility and aggression, and a complete disregard for others’ rights.

5
Fantasies

Serial killers’ fantasies are often about control and violation. In fact, during research, it became evident that serial killers could remember NO positive fantasies they had as children. Some would fantasize about mutilating themselves or their genitals. They will even fantasize about their own traumas, over and over again – the difference being that in these fantasies they are the assailant.
Serial killers in the making will never discuss these horrid fantasies with anyone, but thoughts of fulfilling them will recur more and more frequently. Before the serial killer kills for the first time, the fantasies normally focus on committing the murder. Afterwards, the fantasies will focus on committing each murder more successfully, and with greater efficiency.

4
Preferring auto-erotic activities

Most serial killers admitted that during their teenage years they avoided parties and other social events. They definitely never experimented as normal teenagers do with sexual activities among their peers, rather preferring masturbation and other auto-erotic activities such as pornography. In some cases there would be obsessive masturbation – as in the case of Andrei Chikatilo, who had awful scarring on his penis due to the aggression that accompanied his masturbation.
Without any substantial social structure in his life, the killer is unable to embark on a normal sexual relationship, and thus is forced into solo sexual activities. Certain forms of media, such as detective magazines, often have lurid tales of sex and murder that can also serve as an extra form of arousal – linking sex and murder together.

3
Developing voyeurism and fetishism in adulthood

From an early age, many serial killers are intensely interested in voyeurism and fetishism as well as other paraphilias. Many will start their deviancy as relatively harmless peeping-toms, before moving on to house-breaking, rape, and murder. Given that elements of bondage and dominance feature so strongly in most paraphilias, it is no surprise that this is often the route followed after adolescence.

2
Acting out fantasies on animals

Almost all serial killers – in fact, 99% of them – admitted that they started by acting out their violent fantasies on animals before graduating to human beings. Due to the dysfunctional families most serial killers come from, such pathological and abnormal behavior may be ignored or completely missed – as in the case of Jeffrey Dahmer, whose father was unperturbed by the fact that his son was dissecting animals. These acts of animal cruelty are a great source of pleasure to young killers, and they manage to perfect the art completely – later performing the same acts on their human victims.

1
Physical injuries

Head injuries received during accidents, repeated head trauma suffered during physical abuse or injuries during birth have been suggested as a very important link to aggressive and violent behaviour. Damage to the limbic brain, hypothalamus or temporal lobe may cause bouts of spontaneous aggression. These areas are involved with hormones, aggression, emotion and motivation; injuries to them may also result in seizures and forms of amnesia.
70% of serial killers received extensive head injuries as children or adolescents, clearly showing the link between these types of injuries and serial murder. Some researchers believe that the pre-frontal cortex (the area involved in planning and judgement) does not function properly in psychopaths.

I have labelled the ones in red that I would like to consider in this journey. This should make for one long level!

Mood Boards

Here is a collection of images I will use to inspire my concepts.

This section I will post images that will inspire the character

This section I will post images that will inspire the environments of my prototype.

And here are some level layouts to see how I could lay out my own level.

How Am I feeling? Pt 1. Good Start. Bad Middle!

Last project we had to note down what we were feeling in regard to project work and I will continue this within this project as I found it very handy to jot down how I was feeling.

So far with what I have managed to do I have not been as focused as I want to be, I have a subject I love, what I am choosing to do I love and I want to explore further as part of a possible career. Life has a really bad way of getting in the way of you studying.

I have had an interruption at the beginning of the project in the way of the flu. I got over that and began my research quite happy with the subject I chose. Then 4 weeks in I began to go house hunting and found it hard to find a place because of my student status which caused a lot of stress, it made me not want to work, it made me want to quit uni, I felt so lost and unable to say that I wanted to quit because I felt embarrassed that fussy landlords had made me feel this way.

Sad kitty is sad!

I don't want to quit, not now! Onwards and upwards from this, hopefully these setbacks won't hold be back and set me far behind even though I already feel a bit left behind. I can do this!

And now I've written all the negative stuff ... here is the positive. In handy bullet point form.

• I am enjoying having a timetable and having set study periods outside of uni.
• Gathering information is getting much easier to do
• Asking fellow students/friends for advice and ideas is a less daunting experience
• Sharing my ideas no matter how weird I think they are is easier now. I have gotten over the thought of someone mocking my ideas or 'stealing' them, these thoughts are childish and stupid and I must repeat the phrase taught to us by our Year Leader Mark "Ideas are cheap."
• I feel I know what I want to do outside of uni, I feel low poly level design could be for me!

And a little more negative for the sake of it ;P

• Letting parts of life interfere with my work, I take a lot of things to heart and allow it to control me, it is hard to separate things for me and I often allow my feelings to stop me from working.
• Getting my ideas from my head, into my blog. I keep forgetting to write blog posts. And I forget that people can't see the ideas in my head and that what I put to paper/computer needs the research to back it up.

I think that's about it for this little diary blog. I will report back with how I am getting on now I have got all the negativity out of the way!

What do I want people to think.

As the days are going by and I'm starting to think what do I want people to feel from the game if it was fully made. What do I want people to think of the character they are controlling? What do I want them to feel from the environment? How will I make this happen? How will the player identify with the character? I feel I should explain a little more...

What is the game going to be about?

The game will be all one level, almost a point and click style of game where you move the character around the environment to learn about their past. The game will feature one main character and that is the only character you will see.

The game features no crime, there is no murder that happens throughout. The game will finish at the point where the character is about to 'commit their first crime' The game will not glorify serial killers, neither will it be a form of guide to serial killing, it will stand only to show the back-story that leads up until the first crime and what guided them to that point. The game will not be based directly on any real life serial killer, but one I have created and I will try and make it so it doesn't directly replicate any real life criminals story, it will be a mix of lives based on research into how the brain of a child reacts as it grows.

The idea of the game is to make people think about the events that lead up to the final point, and not necessarily make them change their opinion on serial killers as sympathetic characters but to just be an example of what can happen in someone's life that takes them to the point where all hell breaks loose. To show that behind the crimes and the name, their was a child that grew up to be this criminal and show what could possibly have lead them on the path they chose.

What do I want people to think of the character they are controlling?

Visually, I want the player to think the character looks as if they could just be an average man/woman, as if on the street they could just pass by them and not have any thought other than 'oh there's another human being'. To do this I will ask people I know and strangers what is the first thing they think of when they hear the words 'Serial Killer' and take that research into account when I create the main character.

How will the player identify with the character?

Ideally people would see something in the journey that they see in their own lives, maybe not feeling loved enough as a child, feeling left out at school, not feeling they have enough in life. I want people to think about how with one wrong turn they could have turned out this way. Relating life events to this character is how I want players to identify with the character.

As the player goes through the game I want them to empathise with the character, not so the character becomes too sympathetic, but so the player can see where the character has come from and that with some serial killers they don't just decide to go out and start killing people, sometimes there are circumstances that lead up to the point of their first crime. I want the player to get a little invested with the character mentally, the ideal outcome would be that you've seen the character grow up and as you get to the end of the game I want the player to be like 'oh no don't kill them, don't let your past affect your future'.

What do I want them to feel from the environment?

The idea I want to go with, with this prototype is that as you progress through the level the colours getting darker and more desperate looking, the game is mainly going to be travelling through a corridor, with the corridor the further you progress, the lights get dimmer, the wallpaper gets more tatty and ripped up. I want players to feel more uncomfortable as they go on, I want the environment to reflect the characters mental state as they get closer to their first victim.

How will I make this happen?

To make this happen I will use a familiar location of a corridor which will be a one way twisting, turning pathway, the wallpaper along this corridor will be patterned in a way that players can associate with, in a pattern that is often used in homes. It will feature pictures of the characters family and pets, but lack pictures of friends. Stairs will be used to signify the players descent into darkness.